Discussing estate planning with parents is never easy, but for adult children, it is a topic that almost always comes up—or at least, it should. Parents should have this crucial conversation with their children to ensure their wishes are honored and that there are no surprises that could cause conflict between siblings.
The right time, the right place
Look no further if you are an adult child wondering how to bring up the topic. First, it is crucial to find the right time and the right place. Ideally, this conversation can occur somewhere peaceful, where your parents are relaxed, such as a family gathering or a quiet evening dinner at home.
Frame the conversation
How you approach the topic and your words can mean the difference between having an open conversation and your parents shutting down.
For this reason, it is vital to begin the conversation by expressing love and care for your parents so that they know this comes from genuine concern.
Ask open-ended questions
Instead of jumping right into questions like “Do you have an estate plan?” or “How do you plan to divide the estate between us?” It is best to begin the conversation using more general questions, such as:
- Have you thought about estate planning?
- What are your thoughts on creating a will?
- I have been thinking of creating a will myself. Do you have guidance you can share?
These questions allow the conversation to flow freely and do not obligate your parents to share something they may prefer not to share.
It is best not to pry
Perhaps they plan to leave more money for a sibling who needs it more or a grandchild of whom they are especially proud.
In such cases, it is unlikely they will want to disclose that. However, knowing they have a will and a current estate plan should be a priority. Their choices about their assets are theirs to make, which all adult children should respect.